JJ Heller
He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night “Dear God won’t you please...
Could you send someone here who will love me?”
Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means
Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner then he would’ve stayed
And she says…
Who'll love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means what love really means
He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me. I wanna go home”
Then he heard a voice somewheree deep inside
And it said “I know you’ve murdered
And I know you’ve lied
And I've watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you'll listen I'll, I'll tell you that I...”
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew
Love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew
My beloved cat Chase died Dec. 13th. He'd been sick for a while with diabetes and a liver infection. We treated him of course and for a little while he got better, but his kidneys were failing him too, poisoning him. We didn't a choice but to put him down because the vet said he wouldn't make it even with treatments. We buried him under the tree that you can see from the sun room. I've struggled with with his death for an entire week, even now as I type I'm struggling not to bawl because I miss him so much, I haven't even been able to write this in my real journal yet.
This song made me think of him alot because Chase loved me from the first day I met him, no matter how many times we didn't play nice with him when we were little, or how many times we took him on a car ride. Last night I had a dream and I was watching Chase and Salem play fight with one another. I knew he was still sick because I remember worrying that Salem would be too rough on his recovering body, and Chase still looked a little ill. So I told them to stop and separated them. Chase came up to me, meowed in his deep little "Mmeeooww" and crawled into my lap the way he used too and rubbed his head against me as if to tell me it's okay. That he's okay. I'm so grateful for that because now I know that he really is there watching me and knows I miss him. I love you, Chase.
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